Notallmen/Yesallwomen, secondary trauma and relearning everything for the sake of not killing each other
Joyce Park stashed this in Feminism
Dazzingly mature, compassionate, and generous analysis of why men and women who genuinely care about each other are finding it hard to discuss -- and yet impossible not to discuss! -- gender relations in the wake of numerous traumatic incidents this year.
It is hard as a male to hear stories of mistreatment of women, just in the day to day act of being female.
So I can only imagine (literally, I can only imagine) how hard it really is when the men in my life- my husband, my brother, my male cousins, my dear friends, my colleagues and classmates- hear about the things that I experience, just in the day to day act of being female. And I think that I can get the act of telling these things on my part is a lot less painful than the act of listening on theirs. I mean, telling can be kind of a relief, sometimes! In telling, I get to share my experience and get support, I get to feel validated and less isolated, and I get to work through my feelings, brainstorm ways to handle situations in the future. Telling can transform the experience! (I am a professional listeners of tellers, and my whole goal is to get to the point where the telling becomes a transformative experience!)
Just for shits and giggles, here is a well-respected newspaper columnist openly discussing the "coveted status" of being a sexual assault victim:
"Combine this with capacious definitions of sexual assault that can include not only forcible sexual penetration but also nonconsensual touching. Then add the doctrine that the consent of a female who has been drinking might not protect a male from being found guilty of rape."
If a woman has been drinking, apparently this guy thinks men should be able to rape her without it being a crime!!! So yes, even paranoids like WOMEN WHO DRINK AT ALL actually have enemies. Here are the links, note that they are not from female-friendly or politically-correct outlets:
Geez. I'm getting a sense that poor male attitudes are pervasive in our society.