Bathroom Etiquette for Men.
Adam Rifkin stashed this in Etiquette!
This came up during the wash your damn hands convo.
Man Restroom Etiquette should be required reading for all men.
The best rule of them all is rule number 1:
Upon entering the restroom, a simple “hey” or “whats up” will suffice. A quick question or two if its a close friend is acceptable. Under no circumstances will you start a conversation with a complete stranger while holding your junk. Strictly forbidden.
In fact there is no talking with a complete stranger in the restroom at all unless both of you have already finished what you came in to do and are standing at the sink and even then the conversation should be limited and should only be about sports, girls, evening plans, or food(You came in to piss or shit not to find drinking buddies).
The men’s restroom should be as quiet as a church mouse pissing on cotton. It is strongly encouraged to avoid any and all conversation!
It's true for men's locker rooms, too. Remember Yoda!
Shut up the fuck, you must!
It's called etiquette, mother fucker!
Um wow... I have never heard it called "taking the Browns to the Superbowl" before...
That phrase is simultaneously hilarious and makes me very uncomfortable.
Dropping the kids off at the pool...
That's a riot, and very true. I can happily report following this etiquette during this story... 3 or so months ago, I was at SFO and went into the bathroom. An airport bathroom requires focus, purpose. Like a swat team raid. Don't want the germs to get me. Anyway, as I'm washing my hands , a guy asks me, "Wasn't that Jack Nicholson?". No idea hadn't even noticed. Not doing celeb watching in the SFO bathroom!
I ran into an acquaintance in a shower room at the YMCA. It was one of those shower spaces that doesn't have any privacy at all and everybody more or less faces inward to the center of the room.
It would have been weird to not say hello and do a few pleasantries, but you just don't have that kind of interaction in a gang shower. So - super awkward conversation was unavoidable.
This is why it's important to never shower at the YMCA.
No matter what the Village People say.