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6 things the happiest families all have in common - The Week

Stashed in: Relationships, @bakadesuyo, life

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What can one of the best negotiators teach families about resolving those inevitable everyday squabbles of life?

Bruce outlines three key steps:

Number one, "Separate everybody." In negotiation speak; this is "Go to the balcony." Take a moment where you look back on the fight as if it were on a stage and you're on the balcony and say "Okay, what's really going on here?" This reduces emotions like anger.

Second, we ask our kids to come up with three alternatives. In negotiation speak; this is "Expand the pie before you divide the pie."

Bruce admits this part can be tricky. But you need to make it clear nobody is leaving the table until there are three options.

The third stage is "Bring people back together." In negotiation speak; this is "Build the golden bridge of the future."

Have the kids pick one of the three that they like best. What's key is that the children created the alternatives and agreed on the best solution.

As Bruce explains in his bookwhen kids get a say, it works out better for everyone. Don't be a dictator unless you have to.

To learn how how you can resolve conflict with lessons from FBI hostage negotiators, click here.

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