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What PBR Says About America... According To The Russian Company That Just Bought It

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PBR, Schlitz, Old Milwaukee, and Colt 45 Malt Liquor are owned by a Russian company?!

Pour a warm one out for Pabst Blue Ribbon, which was just acquired by Russianbeer conglomerate Oasis Beverages. Although terms of the deal weren't disclosed, people familiar with the matter told the New York Times that the deal was worth more than $700 million in cash, or 233,333,333 PBRs at happy hour. Pabst, which received its iconic blue ribbon in 1893, will stay headquartered in Los Angeles.

When the deal was announced late Thursday, the Russian beverage giant seemed pretty enthusiastic about its new purchase:

"Pabst Blue Ribbon is the quintessential American brand--it represents individualism, egalitarianism and freedom of expression--all the things that make this country great,” Eugene Kashper, the chairman of Oasis Beverages, said in a statement. "The opportunity to work with the company's treasure trove of iconic brands, some of which I started my career selling, is a dream come true. It will be an honor to work with Pabst's dedicated employees and partner distributors as we continue to build the business."

Individualism. Egalitarianism. And freedom of expression. Which, fine. But it seems to me that someone forgot to tell Mr. Kashper that PBR, once a cheap hipster staple and a shining emblem of savvy underground marketing, hasn't been cool since at least 2008. At least we'll always have Budweis... Oh. Never mind.

[h/t: New York Times]

This just in on VICE: "Russians Just Bought America’s Most Beloved Crappy Beer"

Read it:

Diabolical, Mr. Putin.

How could we let this happen?? For a mere $700 million we have lost PBR, Schlitz, AND Colt 45!


Sadly no one.

The Russians took PBR and Colt 45 easier than they took Crimea. 

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