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Adam Grant's blog — The Three Biggest Myths about Giving, and How to Become Productively Generous

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Love this article! Can personally relate to making all three of these mistakes and feeling burned out. Productive givers say no when it makes sense, keep their interests in mind, and seek help from others when they need it. 

Good point.

It takes a while to learn that giving is not about being nice.

Nice is etiquette; giving is action.

1. Giving is not about being nice. Most people confuse being generous with being nice, but research shows that they’re separate qualities. Being a nice person is about courtesy: you’re friendly, polite, agreeable, and accommodating. When people think they always have to be nice in order to give, they fail to set boundaries, rarely say no, and become doormats, letting others walk all over them.

Productive givers focus on acting in the long-term best interests of others, even if it’s not pleasant. They have the courage to give the critical feedback we prefer not to hear, but truly need to hear. They offer tough love, knowing that we might like them less, but we’ll come to trust and respect them more.

Adam Grant himself says, "Nice guys may finish last, but good guys are more likely to finish first."

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