What are common mistakes that parents with good intentions make because of ignorance? - Quora
Jared Sperli stashed this in life
Answer corresponding to the graph above:
Allowing your child to give up easily
Learning is a messy, organic process. Everyone learns at a different pace. One common factor in learning anything however, is that hard work is unavoidable.
Above is a graph every parent should know, from Forecasting Confidence Levels With the Bipolar Learning Graph.
This graph applies even to adults.Whenever you begin learning a new subject such as maths, science, programming, a new language, or the piano, your enthusiasm level soars. Basic concepts are simple and easy to grasp, everything is fresh and new = this is fun!
Then comes the trough where simple things, just aren't so simple anymore. Concepts become more complex and harder to understand, everything is old hat = this is not fun anymore.
With work and perseverance, you eventually master the more advanced material and pass the inflection point, and gain confidence. Advanced concepts become easy, you get to apply the knowledge in new and interesting ways of your own choosing = this is way more fun than it was before!
When the going gets tough before the inflection point, many children tend to push back. They scream. They cry. They refuse to go to school. They throw tantrums. At this point, and out of misplaced protectiveness, many parents simply, well, give up. I have never met a so-called child prodigy who did not experience this trough or did not have a lot of hard work and perseverance behind his/her achievements. Not one.
The idea that natural talent is all you need to achieve your goals and that natural talent means everything will come easy is false, but many parents still hold on to it. The trough is a natural and inescapable part of human learning.
What's more, it's not just that one trough, but a series of troughs in any given discipline.Our job as parents is to guide and shape our children's development, boost them up during the high points, and support them as they work through the low points.
Most of these answers seem good to me -- letting your kids get dirty and fail, getting them vaccinated and making them sleep a lot -- but there's one answer I don't think fits in the same bucket. The stuff about how it's a mistake to have kids in order to get a re-do on your own life -- whether reiterating it or repairing it -- I mean, I have not spawned myself but it seems to me that it's not a mistake, it's a motivation. Probably THE motivation.
Do people really have kids so they can meet loud, smelly strangers who will relieve them of their emotional reserves and free cash? NO! Shit, you can accomplish that just by going on a MUNI bus any evening. They have kids so they can meet THEMSELVES but better!
Does this fuck up the kids? Survey says: YES! But who cares? It's all about the emotional journey of the parent, right? The kid is just the object of the parents' narcissistic self-regard and ultimately of their hubristic downfall. Besides, the failures of the parent set up the emotional tension that drives the kid to eventually have kids of their own. Without this dynamic, we would be a species with no children and no great literature like Oedipus Rex or King Lear.
"We are puppets dancing on the strings of those who came before us." ~Tyrion Lannister