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Paul Ryan Marathon Time


Stashed in: Fitspo, Pants on fire!, Dafuq?, NOT GOOD, Fishies!, Sharks!, Whales!, Narcissists!, Awesome, Game of Thrones!, @LeoDiCaprio

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The above link is to the Paul Ryan Marathon Calculator:

It calculates your "Paul Ryan Marathon Time" based on Paul Ryan's known marathon time (4:01:25) and the time he claimed ("two hour and fifty-something", which we average at 2:55).

Given these two times, Ryan reduced his time by 27.5%, so that's what we do to your time! And if you're wondering why this matters at all, Michael Cohen and Paul Krugman both do a great job putting Ryan's marathon claims into proper context.

Paul Ryan claims he ran a marathon in "Two-fitty". He works out.

King Joffrey approves of Paul Ryan's marathon story. They smile alike.

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Lyin' Ryan the marathon man! Run, Ryan Run!

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Paul Ryan makes up fitness numbers but you can still believe his budget numbers.

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NOT GOOD

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Paul Ryan fish story sounds fishy, too.

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Mr. Ryan, a whale is not a fish.

I mean, it's not like Paul Ryan lies about anything important.

Mother of God, can Paul Ryan open his mouth without lying???

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Off by 1.35 million is not a rounding error.

Off by 1.35 million is pure, unadulterated, Pants-en-Fuego.

The RNC is VERY quick with the slogans. I'll give them that.

@BorowitzReport

BREAKING: Paul Ryan Gives First-hand Account of Killing Bin Laden

Tom, I laughed out loud at that! :)

Paul Ryan is the guy at the bar who keeps telling you he could "probably" beat Usain Bolt in a race, "if I was in better shape." Paul Ryan climbed 40 mountains, you know.

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