Comcast

Surprise! Comcast doesn't like the FCC's new net neutrality rules either. This is the same company that has a stranglehold on one out of every three internet users in America who have no other choice of provider, so no surprise there. The company has been famously coy about claiming to love net neutrality but refusing to support the policy that would protect it. Here's that line again from Comcast executive vice president David L. Cohen, saying the company embraces the rules and then immediately mocking them, along with another cute 1930s reference:

We fully embrace the open Internet principles that have been laid out by President Obama and Chairman Wheeler and that now have been adopted by the FCC. We just don't believe statutory provisions designed for the telephone industry and adopted when Franklin D. Roosevelt was president should be stretched to govern the 21st century Internet.

Verizon

The dumbest reaction. Verizon, the peddlers of broken fiber optic dreams, doesn't like the FCC's plan one bit, and the multibillion-dollar company's army of flacks are being real dipshits about it. Immediately after the vote, Verizon issued a press release drafted in smudged typewriter text and dated February 26, 1934. It's pretty rude.

Rep. Ted Cruz

Ted's at it again. Speaking at the Conservative Political Action Conference, the Tea Party politician recited his anti-Obama speech:

Washington wants Obamacare. The people want liberty. Washington wants amnesty. The people want rule of law. Washington wants power over the internet. The people want freedom online. And don't believe President Obama when he says, 'If you like your internet, you can keep your internet'!

By the way this guy is one of the top recipients of campaign donations from big cable companies. He's also now in charge of NASA.