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Take This Tinder Advice from Aziz Ansari

Stashed in: Young Americans, Don't Get Me Started, Tinder!, @azizansari, tinder aziz

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I'm surprised Aziz likes Tinder at all. 

No article about Tinder, and very few about OKCupid, have made me want to use either one of them. Au contraire!

Even Aziz admits that technology has made his generation rude and flaky.

Aziz believes that the most intimate relationship we have is with our cell phones. According to his research, OkCupid creates some 40,000 dates every day, while two billion swipes on Tinder generate 12 million matches a day. “It’s a stunning number, and I think it’s beautiful that all these tools are able to help people find love and happiness. I mean, sometimes it doesn’t go well. But there are so many people it’s helped. If you look at it one way, it’s creating all this love in the world that wouldn’t be created otherwise.”

There was a time when we were buying personal ads in these things called newspapers. (“Attractive mid-30s male interested in travel, Chopin, and mountaineering would like to meet blonde 20-year-old.”) In contrast, Aziz quoted an insecure young man he interviewed complaining he had only 70 matches on Tinder, whereas an attractive female friend of his had hundreds. “Seventy women? That’s insane!”

“I used to know about four women,” I said.

“Yeah, me too! But now you get into this whole paradox of choice. What’s weird is that all the norms are changing so fast. Is there too much choice? Just because you have 70 matches—don’t try to hang out with all 70. You can hang out with a few and see if there’s a connection.”

E. M. Forster’s fabled 1910 epigraph, “Only connect,” has been transformed into a frantic Web search not only for relationships or marriage (or sex) but also for perfect love. Aziz, a romantic realist, sees the downside. He writes in Modern Romance that technology has turned his generation into “the rudest, flakiest people ever.” “I think our cell phones have given us the tools to be rude,” he explained (though he remains characteristically polite). “It’s easier to send a text to split up with someone than to have a conversation and, you know, deal with the ramifications. It’s easier because you’re not going to hear the disappointment in their voice.”

And as soon as the luster wears off the current match you can always find another.  We've entered a new age of disposable relationships.

That seems like a bad thing to me. Great relationships are the best part of life.

It's a terrible thing!

Ok, whew. 

I don't see any real "advice" here buddy... except that you probably don't want what you think you want, but there's STILL too much choice even if you filter a bunch, so put down the phone and date in real life?

Here here, HF!

Yeah, the real advice seems to be that you won't find what you're looking for online. 

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