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What If Ira Glass, Sarah Koenig, and The Swedish Chef Were Super Bowl Announcers?

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I laughed.

"Juonuoery 31, 1993 ves zee-a furst, und lest, Suoper Buol I ifer vetched. Huo du I remember zee-a dete-a? It ilsu heppened tu be-a lest time-a I ifer telked tu my fezeer. Gruoing up I ves a leettle-a deefferent, I vesn't interested in spurts leeke-a zee-a ouzeer buys vere-a. I vuould rezeer pley dulls vit my sisters thuon pley cetch ouout beck vit my ould muon. Must Suondeys I vuould spend reedeeng rumuonce-a nufels our mekeeng ououtffeets ouout ouff sume-a ould drepes I fuound in zee-a ittic, su it sume-a puint in my cheeldhuod, my fezeer stupped iskeeng iff I vuonted tu sit duon und vetch zee-a geme-a vit heem. He-a ilveys knuo I ves deefferent und by zee-a time-a cullege-a rulled iruound ve-a berely spuke-a it ill. I still remeened cluse-a tu my muzeer, ve-a telked oun zee-a phune-a it leest ounce-a a veek und I vuould tell her ibuout zee-a nuo muon I met it unifersity. By zee-a ierly 90's, her heelt hed decleened und she-a knuo she-a deedn't hefe-a muoch time-a lefft. In Juonuoery 1993 she-a knuo she-a knuo it vuouldn't be-a lung. Zeey vere-a hefing a Suoper Buol perty zeet yeer, is zeey ilveys deed. She-a isked iff I vuould cume-a und tu bring Stefee-a vit me-a su she-a cuould meet heem und see-a huo heppy ve-a mede-a iech ouzeer. Su fur zee-a furst time-a in yeers I sev my fezeer, vhu thuought Stefee-a ves juost a friend. Zeet is, until Dun Beebe-a chesed duon Leun Lett, stupping heem frum scuring a tuouchduon. Nuo, it zeet puint zee-a geme-a ves ilreedy oufer, buot Stefee-a, a leeffelung BEElls fuon, gut su ixceeted, he-a juomped up und keessed me-a right oun zee-a leeps. My fezeer vinced und fell silent. He-a deedn't sey unuzeer vurd zee-a rest ouff zee-a geme-a. Stefee-a und I gut reedy tu leefe-a und Stefee-a velked oufer tu my fezeer, stuock ouout hees huond, und seed "It ves nice-a tu meet yuou, sur.". My fezeer, vithuout meessing a beet, repleed "pess zee-a nechus, pleese-a, our get ouout ouff my huouse-a."

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