Here’s how to overcome social anxiety:

• Use yer brain: When you’re thinking more, you’re feeling less.
• Note or label: Give the emotion a name and it won’t overwhelm you, Phyllis.
• Premeditate: “What’s the worst that could happen?” It won’t. And it’s not that bad.
• Reappraise: Change the story and your feelings change. Stress can be a challenge. Adversity can be a game.
• Don’t be an opera singer: Me Me Me to You You You to Us Us Us.

In a classic study, researchers had subjects evaluate three job candidates. One had lousy scores, the other was nearly perfect, and the third had the same rankings as the perfect one but during the interview he spilled coffee all over his suit. Guess who they thought most highly of?

The fumbler. Why? He seemed more approachable. He wasn’t so perfect as to make people envious. Being too impressive can backfire. Perfect is too perfect.

So put your brain to work fighting that fear. And get out of your head and into their head. You’re not the only one who feels socially awkward. Help others feel relaxed and you’ll find you relax too. And stop trying to impress…

You don’t need to be interesting. You need to be interested.