My interview with influence and persuasion expert, Dr. Robert Cialdini. It was so awesome to talk to him. :)

You only feel that way because he influenced your thinking in subtle ways not even known to you... :D

Reciprocity can be used for good or it can be used for evil:

It’s the principle that suggests that people give back to you the kind of treatment that they’ve received from you. If you do something first, by giving them an item of value, a piece of information, or a positive attitude, it will all come back to you. The key is to go first.

If you smile at a stranger, you get a smile back. If you don’t, you don’t get a smile back. That’s essentially the rule. Whatever it is that you would like to get from a situation, you can increase the likelihood that it will be forthcoming if you provide it first.

I guess that's true for all six of the principles that they can be used for good or evil.

Read more: http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/robert-cialdini-influence/

Today I learned that you have to use ALL six principles to influence people, not just your favorite.

1. Reciprocity. Give people the treatment you want to receive.

2. Consistency. Make people publicly commit to things and they will follow through.

3. Social Proof. Show that others are doing things and your influencee is more likely to follow.

4. Liking. Remind people of things you have in common.

5. Authority. State your credentials before attempting to influence.

6. Scarcity. Demonstrate that the offer represents a rare opportunity.

Cialdini recommends Adam Grant's book, “Give and Take”:

I know you’ve interviewed Adam. He takes a more organizational view. How do you wind up being influential inside your organization rather than with customers, and clients, and so on? I think it’s a valuable perspective as well.

I do love the video on the Science of Persuasion, too:

Influence is one of Eric's ten favorite books:

http://pandawhale.com/post/108/traffic-why-we-drive-the-way-we-do-and-what-it-says-about-us

The authority part is the most challenging.  How do you convince someone of your authority when you don't have conferred credentials (even though your actual proficiency or knowledge is high)?

There are three ways:

1. Appeal to a common authority: Will someone vouch for you?

2. What authoritative organizations have you worked for?

3. Often having a mastery of the vocabulary is enough. Use the appropriate words and explain them if your audience looks like he or she isn't sure.