TG;DR (g is for gross)

1. antibacteria soap is bullshit.

2. you are covering everything with poo (and e. coli) when you wash underwear with anything else

3. you kitchen sink is nasty. the nastiest. 

4. when you flush, you cover everything with poo (including the toothbrush) FOR GODS SAKE, PUT DOWN THE LID BEFORE FLUSHING

5. dry your hands with paper, not the air dryer. works better

6. your retainer is nasty. 

7. 5 second rule is the lie you thought it was. 

8. Your belly button is nasty

9. Your acne approach is making it worse. 

10. Wash your hair only a couple times a week

11. Your contacts are nasty. 

You're welcome. I'm off to the shower.