1) Forget Silver Tongued – Have Silver Ears

You think of con men as smooth talkers but just as the psychological research recommends, they bond with others by listening.

Via Social Engineering: The Art of Human Hacking:

Probably not one skill exists that can be as encompassing as listening.Listening is a major part of being a social engineer.

Social Engineering: The Art of Human Hacking is a book about the methods computer hackers use.

But these tricks don’t involve tech. This is how hackers fool people into giving up their passwords.

What’s the book say? Pay attention, provide proof you’re listening, don’t interrupt, repeat what they said in your own words…

This is the same set of methods that FBI hostage negotiators use tobuild rapport.

Former head of international hostage negotiation for the FBI, Chris Voss, recommends just that:

The idea is to really listen to what the other side is saying and feed it back to them.

So What’s Next?

For more tips on persuasion from scientific research and experts in the field, check out:

1. 6 hostage negotiation techniques that will get you what you want
2. Top 10 FBI Behavioral Unit Techniques For Building Rapport With Anyone
3. Robert Cialdini explains the six ways to influence people