Charles Darwinโs List of the Pros and Cons of Marriage | Brain Pickings
Geege Schuman stashed this in Relationships
Children โ (if it Please God) โ Constant companion, (& friend in old age) who will feel interested in one, โ object to be beloved & played with. โ better than a dog anyhow.โ Home, & someone to take care of house โ Charms of music & female chit-chat. โ These things good for oneโs health. โ but terrible loss of time. โ
My God, it is intolerable to think of spending oneโs whole life, like a neuter bee, working, working, & nothing after all. โ No, no wonโt do. โ Imagine living all oneโs day solitarily in smoky dirty London House. โ Only picture to yourself a nice soft wife on a sofa with good fire, & books & music perhaps โ Compare this vision with the dingy reality of Grt. Marlbroโ St.
Freedom to go where one liked โ choice of Society & little of it. โ Conversation of clever men at clubs โ Not forced to visit relatives, & to bend in every trifle. โ to have the expense & anxiety of children โ perhaps quarelling โ Loss of time. โ cannot read in the Evenings โ fatness & idleness โ Anxiety & responsibility โ less money for books &c โ if many children forced to gain oneโs bread. โ (But then it is very bad for ones health to work too much)
Perhaps my wife wont like London; then the sentence is banishment & degradation into indolent, idle fool โ
He then produces his conclusion:
Marry โ Mary โ Marry Q.E.D.
Better than a dog anyhow, afterall.
Wow, what a jerk Darwin was.
He never mentions love, nor does he mention partnership.
Makes you wonder what sort of husband he was! ย I wonder what his wife's list would have looked like? ย (Then again, given the times, her expectations would be a tad different from mine)!
Different from mine too.
I wonder if she thought of him as a fat bald jerk who calls her soft.
I think the idea of "partnership" is a modern one but he hints at what is similar with constant companion. And soft was compliment, back then, yes?ย
Hopefully, but I find it hard to believe that chit-chat was considered complimentary.ย