Charles Darwinβs List of the Pros and Cons of Marriage | Brain Pickings
Geege Schuman stashed this in Relationships
Children β (if it Please God) β Constant companion, (& friend in old age) who will feel interested in one, β object to be beloved & played with. β better than a dog anyhow.β Home, & someone to take care of house β Charms of music & female chit-chat. β These things good for oneβs health. β but terrible loss of time. β
My God, it is intolerable to think of spending oneβs whole life, like a neuter bee, working, working, & nothing after all. β No, no wonβt do. β Imagine living all oneβs day solitarily in smoky dirty London House. β Only picture to yourself a nice soft wife on a sofa with good fire, & books & music perhaps β Compare this vision with the dingy reality of Grt. Marlbroβ St.
Freedom to go where one liked β choice of Society & little of it. β Conversation of clever men at clubs β Not forced to visit relatives, & to bend in every trifle. β to have the expense & anxiety of children β perhaps quarelling β Loss of time. β cannot read in the Evenings β fatness & idleness β Anxiety & responsibility β less money for books &c β if many children forced to gain oneβs bread. β (But then it is very bad for ones health to work too much)
Perhaps my wife wont like London; then the sentence is banishment & degradation into indolent, idle fool β
He then produces his conclusion:
Marry β Mary β Marry Q.E.D.
Better than a dog anyhow, afterall.
Wow, what a jerk Darwin was.
He never mentions love, nor does he mention partnership.
Makes you wonder what sort of husband he was! Β I wonder what his wife's list would have looked like? Β (Then again, given the times, her expectations would be a tad different from mine)!
Different from mine too.
I wonder if she thought of him as a fat bald jerk who calls her soft.
I think the idea of "partnership" is a modern one but he hints at what is similar with constant companion. And soft was compliment, back then, yes?Β
Hopefully, but I find it hard to believe that chit-chat was considered complimentary.Β