boost your relationship bliss -- by emma seppala
emily kate moon stashed this in gratitude
once again, gratitude is the attitude!
Practice an attitude of gratitude! Here’s a 3-minute way to boost your gratitude quotient daily:
Write down as many things as you can that you are grateful for. From the sun shining outside, to the lunch you had, from people in your life that you appreciate, to your ability to read an article like this one. Research suggests that counting your blessings will significantly improve your happiness and well-being!
I keep a running list under my keyboard at work. This was a tip from a therapist 20 years ago!
"Write down as many things as you can that you are grateful for. From the sun shining outside, to the lunch you had, from people in your life that you appreciate, to your ability to read an article like this one. Research suggests that counting your blessings will significantly improve your happiness and well-being!"
that is so cool. is the list on a folded piece of paper like an accordion?
(i just wanted to say accordion.)
no, really, how do you do it? i have post-its, but they can get disorganized easily.
I have a steno pad at my desk and after I write a few things first thing in the morning I tear the page from the pad, fold it in half and put it under my keyboard. I read it and add to it occasionally, especially when I start to feel stressed. Works!
that is so good! do you make a new one every day?
Nah, because lazy.
ha! sounds like it's not necessary anyhow. :)
But then you don't have access to it when you're not at your desk.
Why not type it in?
I have notes at work, a journal at home ... with instructions to burn it if I meet an untimely end. :) no idea why I'm smiling.
Today I learned that Handwriting is better for short-term and long-term memory:
You’d think that having all of those typed notes would actually help people in the long run, but you’d be wrong! Mueller and Oppenheimer put it to the test (no pun intended). When given a week to study their notes for a test, those who wrote their notes outperformed laptop users. Your handwriting stimulates more effective memory cues because you’re forming the context and content in your own words.
Gratitude can stop the hedonic treadmill.
According to research on the hedonic treadmill, we receive an increased boost of happiness when wonderful new events happen (like entering a new relationship, buying a new car or receiving a promotion) but that, over time, these events lose their ability to bring us renewed joy because we get accustomed to them. As a consequence, we often fail to appreciate that which we have. This may be why you get excited to see your spouse or partner after they have been out of town for a while but that, when you see them daily, you fail to appreciate that he or she is there.
Because of our tendencies toward habituation and the negativity bias, we sometimes begin to focus on a partner’s faults and forget or take for granted his or her positive qualities. But research suggests there is an antidote to these patterns and to stay deeply in love over the long run.
A growing body of research and a new study suggests that gratitude is immensely beneficial for successful relationships. In a study by Amie Gordon at the University of California-Berkeley, those who experienced more gratitude in their relationship also felt closer to their partner, more satisfied with the relationship and tended to engage in more constructive and positive behaviors within the relationship. They were more responsive to their partner and were more likely to remain committed. When one person feels grateful, their partner naturally feels appreciated and secure which, in turn, increases increases commitment and satisfaction in the relationship. Gratitude therefore appears to set in motion a powerful positive feedback loop of appreciation, security, further gratitude and overall relationship satisfaction.