Top thing to do when you meet someone is to seek her or his thoughts and opinions without judging them. ~FBI behavior expert Robin Dreeke
Eric Barker stashed this in Diabolical Plans For World Domination
1. The most important thing to do with anyone you meet:
Robin's number one piece of advice: "Seek someone else's thoughts and opinions without judging them."
Ask questions. Listen. But don't judge. Nobody — including you — likes to feel judged.
The number one strategy I constantly keep in the forefront of my mind with everyone I talk to is non-judgmental validation. Seek someone else's thoughts and opinions without judging them. People do not want to be judged in any thought or opinion that they have or in any action that they take.
It doesn't mean you agree with someone. Validation is taking the time to understand what their needs, wants, dreams and aspirations are.
So what should you do when people start spouting crazy talk? Here's Robin:
What I prefer to try to do is, as soon as I hear something that I don't necessarily agree with or understand, instead of judging it my first reaction is, "Oh, that's really fascinating. I never heard it in quite that way. Help me understand. How did you come up with that?"
You're not judging, you're showing interest. And that lets people calmly continue talking about their favorite subject: themselves.
Studies show people get more pleasure from talking about themselves than they do from food or money:
Talking about ourselves — whether in a personal conversation or through social media sites like Facebook and Twitter — triggers the same sensation of pleasure in the brain as food or money… [The Wall Street Journal]
To learn how FBI hostage negotiators build rapport and trust, click here.
The greatest love and respect we can show people is hearing them out. And responding. Lovely