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What's the key to being liked and being more influential? - Barking up the wrong tree

Stashed in: Networking, Authenticity, Listen!, Negotiation, @bakadesuyo, Awesome

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Similarity is incredibly powerful.

I think what's missing here is why similarity is powerful. Ultimately, what people really want is to be understood. Being similar to another gives the other person the impression that you understand him/her. However, you'll find that trying to be all things to all people (and faking it) will quickly tire you out and potentially cause you to question your own identity. I think the larger lesson for influence and likability is empathy. Be yourself, be confident in who you are, but take a vested interest in others. That said, understanding someone who's very different from you becomes easier when you can find the ways in which you are similar. In that sense, similarity is very powerful.

It's truly wonderful to find someone else with similar interests.

It makes you want to interact more and learn together -- and to grow together, too.

No wonder, when given more choices, people choose friends similar to themselves.

Look also at Ori Brafmen's talks on connecting. This is an excerpt on High monitors.. people who learn to adapt themselves to others including mirroring.

Christina, this is a great video! Thanks for the link.

Mirroring is more important to connecting than I realized.

Thanks Christina - enjoyed the video!

it is well worth listening to the long version-- pretty mind blowing stuff

Listening is more than just repeating what people say. [Read more.]

The first words you should say in a negotiation are anything very similar to what the person on the other side of the table just said. [Read more.]

Mimicry makes you a better negotiator. [Read more.]

Demonstrating you have something in common with someone else makes them more likely to help you. [Read more.]