You're Doing it Wrong: The Complete List
Geege Schuman stashed this in Irony
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You're wearing your pants wrong.
OMG I AM DOING SO MANY THINGS WRONG!!
Paella. I'm sorry.
Spelling it, making it, or eating it?
Praying about it. I was doing it wrong.
You were... Praying about paella?
Because I was doing it wrong. But my prayers were wrong, too.
If your prayers were wrong I don't wanna be right!
Hahaha!!! <-- Wrong.
Did you know there's a Green Bay Packer rookie whose first name is Ha Ha?
NO! Is he one of your fantasies? Did I say that wrong?
You said it right but my fantasy league only has offensive players and Ha Ha is on defense.
No, really, I'm doing so many things wrong.
Then you might want to get off the Internet. Because the Internet does not agree with your sparkly sense of optimism. The Internet—with all due no offenses and sorry, buts—does not think you are on top of your game. Your capacity to work? To love? To live your life? You may not have asked for the Internet's opinion on these matters, but it will tell you anyway: It thinks you are Doing It Wrong.
Well, not the Internet (if, when it comes to precision, we are Doing It Right). The people who are employed to write things for the Internet. "You're doing it wrong" has become a common headline cliche, a sassier, snarkier version of "8 Questions You Were Too Embarrassed to Ask" and "You'll Never Believe What Happened Next." Here, according to the Internet/journalism/your fellow humans, is an incomplete list of all the things you—yes, you—have recently been doing wrong:
Taking the Ice Bucket Challenge
Encouraging a Feedback Culture
Checking out at grocery stores
Yeah. Sorry.
Like so many such things, "You're Doing It Wrong" started as a meme. In the early 2000s, you could often find it as the all-caps wording on "FAIL" images (like, say, a guy taking an electric shaver to his forearms, or George W. Bush talking into a the earpiece, rather than mouthpiece, of a telephone). But, unlike many such things, the meme didn't die. Instead, it evolved. Journalism reclaimed it for preachy headlines like "Doing It All: You're Probably Doing It Wrong." I've used it. Slate has a topic section dedicated to it.
Everybody does puberty wrong. That's the nature of puberty.
So if you're doing it wrong then you're doing it right?
I'm confused.
Puberty is not like using jetpacks, Adam! You KNOW when you're jetpacking wrong!
Because you die?
Yes, you die, unless you do death wrong.
I guess if you are praying wrong, there's a good chance you could be doing death wrong too!
It's hard to imagine what doing death wrong would be. Zombies? Vampires?
Your Draculas, your ghosts, your werewolves, and your zombies, vampires and whatnot.
Got it. The undead are doing it wrong. No wonder they're so unhappy.
And ANGRY. Poltergeists!
One more: Black Beans. http://pandawhale.com/post/50633/dont-soak-your-black-beans
D'oh! Don't stretch before a workout!
I get the impression we will find more in the future.
i've been eating cupcakes right all along! woohoo!
oh, but i guess eating cupcakes is wrong?
If eating cupcakes is wrong, I don't wanna be right!
12:14 PM Sep 15 2014